Ten Emotions: How to recognize & value emotions beginning at birth...

Ten Emotions

How to recognize and value emotions beginning at birth.

Children can giggle with joy one minute and cry in sadness the next.  Children feel these emotions strongly.  Just because they have these feelings doesn't mean they know how to cope with them.  Children need you to teach them about feelings.

Emotions start at birth, and every child feels emotions in unique ways.  Helping your child learn about feelings is an important part of parenting.  When you share emotional moments with you child, you grow closer together.

One child may show every emotion, while another may be more withdrawn and quiet.  Your job is to recognize your child's feelings and to respond when needed.  During emotional moments, here are some helpful steps to consider:

Listen: A caring ear can work wonders, especially when your child knows that feelings are normal and that you understand them.

Name the emotion: Help your child learn about emotions by naming them.  Naming emotions can have a calming effect, and it helps you child discover more about what emotions are and how they work.  

Find solutions: When emotions are strong, talk with you child about feelings and about appropriate behavior.

Happiness - Beginning at birth

There are few things as precious as the joy of a child.  When your child is happy, your main task is easy...enjoy it!  Some children are happy playing in the sandbox for hours while others may jump from activity to activity.  When your child is happy, you can:

• Acknowledge how good it feels to be happy.
• Keep track of the things that make the child happy for future activities.
• Allow the child to play independently if the child is content.
• Join in if your child wants you to.
• Look for signs that the child is getting tired or overexcited and needs a break.
• Be aware that when a toddler is extremely happy, activities such as running, jumping, and throwing with enthusiasm can get out of control.
• Direct the child's attention to something else if the child's actions are unacceptable or dangerous, even if the child is happy.
• Make sure the child's happiness doesn't lead to bursts of excitement that may put the child in a dangerous situationsuch as running in a street.

Distress: Beginning at birth

In babies and young children, distress is often (but not always) expressed through crying.  When your baby is distressed and you don't know why, it can be hard on both of you!  Distress can be brought about through pain, discomfort, overstimulation, or boredom.  For babies, it might be hunger or gas or just that they need a break from noise and activity.  Here are some things to try:

For a baby:

• Holding and gently rocking her.
• Taking her for a walk or a ride in a car.
• Singing or listening to music.
• Changing the way you are holding her.
• Feeding her or changing her diaper.

For a toddler:

• Comforting her with a hug or something else that's calming.
• Explaining that everyone gets upset and you love the child no matter what the child is feeling.
• Encouraging the child to talk about why the child is upset.
• Letting the child know you value the child's feelings.
• Helping the child name feelings and share them with the child.
  

Interest: Beginning at birth

When a child shows interest, this is a great time for learning!  You can encourage this learning best if you:

For a baby:

• Follow the baby's lead.  Is the infant looking at a teddy bear?  Bring it closer so the baby can see it and touch it.
• Describe what the baby is looking at.  Is it a red block?  Is it bumpy?
• Expect the baby's interests to change quickly.
• Be aware of what babies are drawn to because almost everything they can reach will end up in their mouth.
• Be sure to "baby-proof" as the child grows.

For a toddler:

• Follow the toddler's lead.  Is the toddler looking at pictures in a book?  Ask questions about the pictures and the story.
• Provide safe areas for play and discovery.  Children are natural explorers, but they don't know what is okay and what is not.
• Beware that when something interests toddlers, they can move quickly to explore their newest discovery with all senses.

Sadness: Beginning at birth

Children show sadness in many different ways.  Some cry and others may withdraw or become quiet.  When babies are sad, giving physical comfort and gentle verbal soothing may be all you need to do.  For toddlers, sometimes the greatest comfort comes when you listen and honor their feelings.

For a baby:

For a toddler:

Anger: Beginning at birth

When your child is angry, that child needs you to be close to help the child cope with this strong emotion.  Some babies may push away.  If so, allow them some space.  Don't force the closeness.

For a baby:

For a toddler: 

Surprise: beginning at 3 months 

When young children are surprised, they might be delighted and want the surprise again.  On another day, they might get scared and start crying.  Every child is unique, and your child might react to each situation differently.  When your child is surprised, they may look to you for your reaction.  You can: 

Disgust: beginning at 3 months 

From tasting new things to touching a wiggly worm to hearing a story, every child will experience life in their own special way.  Some may enjoy a handful of mud while others might not like finger painting or other messy activities.  When a child is disgusted: 

Fear: beginning at 3 months 

Fear is a powerful emotion, and children need your help to learn how to handle it.  Babies can be fearful around strangers, animals, clowns, and lots of other things they think are threatening.  Older children can develop different fears, such as fear of the dark, of monsters, of death, or of being left behind. 

For a baby:

For a toddler: 

Embarrassment: beginning at 18 months 

Children might get embarrassed when they are performing, being praised, or making obvious mistakes in front of others.  When your child is embarrassed, the child usually wants to get away from the attention of other people.  It can be helpful to: 

Shame: beginning at 2 years 

When a child feels shame the child thinks they are a bad person for what the child has done.  It's your job as a parent/child care provider/guardian to let the child know that they are not a bad person, even if they did a bad thing.  Many children want to be alone when they feel shame, but it's better to be with them because they need help coping with this emotion.  It may take some careful learning to discover the cause for the feeling.  When a child feels shame: 

Listen to the child's feelings and the reason why they feel that way.        

Taken from Parenting Counts.  Parenting Counts is a trademark of Talaris Research Institute.

Http://www.talaris.org